Anywho, I believe that it is part of my moral responsibility and obligation to offer a kind of "how-to" guide to living in and traveling Australia. I've learned a looottt of things while living here in Cairns, and will now share with you my tips to success, fun, and an amazing Australian experience.
You're welcome.
1. Do not take Steve Irwin's episodes of "The Crocodile Hunter" as your example for what Australians say and do. It's simply not true. No one actually says "Crikey", "Ain't she a beauty", and "G'day mate". They also most certainly do not wear Khakis, hiking boots, and beige button up shirts everywhere they go. If they do, you have been lucky enough to meet the elusive and unique Aussie Bogan.
2. Everyone knows you're American. Truly. As soon as we open our giant, loud trap, everyone in a 2 mile radius, know's we're American. So...when someone asks you the "Hey! Where are you from?", DO NOT reply with: "oh! I'm from the USA/States/United States/MERICA". Trust me, they know that part. They want to know, where in the U.S. you're from. And to add onto that, if you're not from California, New York, or L.A. (yes, somehow L.A. is it's own important region), then elaborate on where your State is located.
i.e. "Oh, I'm from the West Coast of the States, from Oregon... (wait for the blank, 'I have no idea look', and proceed...) I live about 40 minutes North of the California border". "ohhhh, how exciting!"
3. Black coffee does not exist. Cafe's in Australia rarely, if at all, offer a brewed black coffee that we Americans are all so accustomed to. So, upon walking into an Aussie cafe and ordering a black coffee, be prepared to be greeted with a confusing, "what-the-F-are-you-saying-look". They might suggest a Long Black, (an Americano). Go with that. It's as close to the real thing as you're going to find.
4. Iced Coffee - (I've ranted on this before) is a sweet, creamy, non coffee tasting beverage, full of milk, a weeee bit of coffee, ice cream, and whipped cream. Do not make the mistake of ordering one, (like I did), and expect black coffee with ice cubes. I was quite surprised. I even tried to give it a go. I hated it. Sad waste of my precious $6.00...which brings me to...
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5. EVERYTHING IS EXPENSIVE. Yes, you'll get over the shock of it all, and adapt within a week. Food is more expensive, fuel is more expensive, and most horribly, alcohol is more expensive...by a lot. You may see all of this, and go "Great! Now I'll be super in shape and thin, as I can't afford to eat, drive, or drink!" Don't be fooled...you will find a way to still do all 3. Especially drink. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
6. Most Australians don't looovveee Kangaroos. Kangaroos are comparable to the deer in Oregon. They're everywhere, eat all the grass, and run into cars. They're generally viewed as pests and are not at all found to be the cute, cuddly, and adorable creatures that Americans love to faun over. Not to say that Aussie's don't find them cute, but not with the same excitement as oozed by tourists. This goes for Koalas too.
7. Koalas are not bears. I repeat, NOT bears. They are Marsupials. They have a pouch. Mammals do not have a pouch. Bears are mammals. Do you understand what I'm saying. It truly boggles my mind how many American tourists refer to Koalas as, "Oooohhh look at the cute Koala bear!!". Any Aussie zookeeper/animal carer that overhears you exclaiming this, will probably do an eye roll, and smile and nod. It's a Koala. Not a bear. Okay, I think I've made that one clear. [Side note: Marsupials are indeed mammals, they are actually part of a different grouping within the mammalian family. I think I've confused some people here, but I'm not saying that marsupials aren't mammals. Just saying that koalas are not bears. K. Glad that one is cleared up!]
8. Ketchup = Tomato Sauce. Don't even bother trying to order "Ketchup" for your "French Fries". You sound absurd. Simply request "Tomato Sauce" for your "Chips".
9. Kangaroo is delicious. It's a gamey meat. Like Venison or Elk, and is delicious as a steak and grilled medium rare on the bbq. Trust me on this one, give it a go. Don't be weird.
10. Try Vegemite. Do it once, do it quickly, and get it over with. It's not yummy, it's quite unpleasant, but is an experience nonetheless. Also, don't feel like you have to love it either, or you might offend the Aussie culture. You won't. It's been my experience that most Australians don't like it either. It's truly just...bleck.
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12. There are not snakes everywhere. I am quite aware that Australia is home to pretty much THE most venomous and deadliest animals on the planet, but they don't just walk around all willy-nilly. I rarely, if ever, have seen a snake just out and about when in the city. The only times I've ever seen one was when I went looking for them with the boys. You will not step on one as you walk from your car to the local cafe or shopping centre. You are quite safe in urban areas.
13. Back to being American for a second. You will be made fun of for your accent. I know that many of us forget that we even have an accent to other people, but as soon as you start talking and say things like "Banana", "Tomato", and describing what the weather is doing, "It's nice out!". You will be laughed at. But it's okay, Aussie's say some weird ass things as well.
14. Oooh! Speaking of, I've mentioned this before, but Australians like to abbreviate everything. It will take you a little while to understand what they are saying, (arvo - afternoon, devo - devastated, maccas - Mcdonalds, etc.) But you'll figure it out eventually. Until then, just prepare yourself to be confused.
15. EAT A TIM TAM. Tim Tam's are Australia's classic cookie-biscuit thing. In other words, heavenly little chocolate, (or white chocolate or caramel) rectangles. Be smart though. Only buy snack sized portions at a time. A full package of Tim Tams is dangerous business. Especially if you like chocolate and cookies and eating everything when on Holiday. Which is basically everyone.
17. Night clubs/bars are generally open wayyyy later than American clubs/bars, (except for Vegas). The average night club here in Cairns is open till 5/6am. So pace yourself. Don't go all out in the first couple of hours expecting to be home and in bed by 2 or 3. Oh no no no, prepare for a literal night out. Besides it's always so classy leaving a bar at 6am, when people in suits are walking to work. You'll thank me for this tid-bit.
18. Go on a crocodile cruise! FNQ, (remember this is the cool way to say Far North Queensland), the Northern Territory and parts of Western Australia are the only places in Australia where you can see crocodiles in the wild, so take advantage of it! It's a relatively cheap experience, $30-$40 for the two-hour cruise, and you're pretty much guaranteed to see at least one croc. Plus you're also seeing a beautiful scenic river tour in the rainforest! I loved going on one myself, and the mother and brother loved it too. So make sure to book that one in. Especially when you visit the Cairns region.
19. Meet people! Introduce yourself to peeps who are doing the same touristy crap you are! So many people come to Australia to simply have an amazing time, so why not meet some great people to go enjoy it with! It's been my experience that people who travel, are happy people. So if you see a group of people out on a tour of the rainforest with you, say hello, chit chat with them, and odds are you have some new hang out/party/beach bummin' buddies for the next couple of days. Plus, meeting people from all over the world and from different cultures, is pretty damn wonderful I must say.
20. Do as much as you possibly can while in the country! Yes, it's all wonderful and dandy to eat and drink to your hearts content, and party all night long with the Aussies, but remember that Australia is an incredibly beautiful country. So go see it! Go to Sydney, see the Harbour Bridge, the Opera House, go to Cairns and see the Great Barrier Reef, and go scuba diving. Literally go and see as much as you can, with all the money and time that you have. Because in the end, who is going to remember that delicious $20 cocktail you had at a random bar in Sydney. What you will remember is seeing the Opera House with your own two eyes, and the gorgeous and colorful fish of the Great Barrier Reef.
So there you have it, you lucky people, you! All, (okay most), of my worldly tips and advice to living in and traveling Australia. There is so much to see and do while in this country, that you must take advantage of every moment, because Australia is undeniably amazing.
And I can't believe that the day has finally arrived for me to leave this beautiful country and all of the wonderful people who have become part of my little Aussie family. I have literally had the most perfect year living in Cairns, and have truly had the experience of a lifetime. I can not even begin to put into words how much I will miss Australia and my life here, but I will be back soon, as I know there's no way I can stay away for too long! It's a beautiful life here in the land down under, and I hope that you all personally take advantage of the chance to go explore it. : )
Missing Australia already, but looking forward to seeing all of my friends and family upon my return.
See you tuesday Oregon! xx
